For some unknown reason, I felt called last week to revisit a book that was near and dear to me during my Do-Over! some 20 years ago. An Unknown Woman, by Alice Koller, is the classic memoir of a woman who retreats to a deserted winter beach house to re-evaluate her life. I trust the reason it has beckoned me will unfold in due time. . . In the meantime, here's an excerpt to inspire your day (and maybe even your own Do-Over!):

"I feel that I'm about to burst a prison. Nothing except my own will-lessness can prevent it. The life that is beginning now is the one that will make sense of all the other ones. [... ]

"Each thing I do during the course of a day is something I've been told to do, or taught to do. I have to replace all of it with what I choose to do. I have to learn how to choose one thing over another, one way of doing something over another way. That means I have to want one thing, or one way, more than another.

"My stomach tightens. Want one thing more than another? What will I use as a criterion? I don't know. I know only that I have to uproot all of the old while I'm learning what I want. Tear out every habit, every way of responding to people or to things. Or to ideas. Look at it without mercy and ask: Is this mine? Mine as the specific human being that I am. Do I do the things I do because I'm Alice Koller? Or do I do them for reasons that I don't yet know?"

I love women's events, because they energize me. They remind me how smart and fun and committed we are to helping each other. This week's annual luncheon held by the Travis County Women Lawyers' Association was an especially inspiring gathering. I got to hang out with BFFs, listen to stories of the state's pioneering women in legal and public service, and see one of my favorite women lawyers, Jana Terry, receive the President's Award. (That's me and Jana, a recent Do-Over! queen who left Big Law to start her own firm.)

TCWLA's Foundation gave grants to a dozen area nonprofits that are doing amazing work providing legal and other help to our neighbors-in-need. Here's the list of organizations. They sure could use OUR help. Just click on a link and make a donation. Today.

AIDS Services of Austin
American Gateways
Casa Marianella
Center for Child Protection
Family Eldercare
Legal Alliance for Survivors of Abuse
SafePlace
SAHELI for Asian Families
Southwest Key Programs
Texas Foster Youth Justice Project
The ARC of the Capital Area
Volunteer Legal Services

Not unlike many of my high-octane coaching clients, "Maria" faced a constant problem. She got so caught up in the non-stop demands of her professional and personal life that she found herself stressed out to the point of shutdown. Physically exhausted, psychically stuck. It's a sort of extreme protection-reaction I call "clenching."

When we "clench," it becomes impossible for us to move or take action--literally and metaphorically. Like a muscle in spasm, we have to find a way to release, so we can flow back into the world with all of our strength and grace. Otherwise, a clenched muscle just gets tighter, weaker, and more painful.

As we explored Maria's experience of  "clenching," I asked her to devise a list of strategies she could draw upon to restore her flow and presence when she found herself begin to clench. The result is such a terrific resource that I asked Maria if I could share. Whether you have a minute or an evening, there's a strategy here to suit you:

1. Take five long, deep breaths.
2. Release the tension in my jaw.
3. Drink water instead of coffee.
4. Take a walk around the park.
5. Say a prayer.
6. Stretch arms and shoulders in a bear hug.
7. Call a friend.
8. Cook dinner instead of grazing in the fridge.
9. Head to the gym.
10. Water the garden.

Next time you feel yourself about to clench, choose an alternative from the list--or devise one of your own!

photo by takomabibelot

So you thought that the only Austin Hall of Fame was for musicians? Now there's one for women!

Inductees will be honored for:

• breaking through barriers for women
• working to better the lives of women and girls
• outstanding public or community service

To make a nomination, visit http://austintexas.gov/2012-whof. Self-nominations are accepted, so don't be shy! Nomination deadline is June 11, 2012.

Winners will be recognized by the City of Austin Commission for Women on Sept 18, 2012.

Please help me welcome our new guest blogger, executive style consultant Catherine Storing! For her debut column, she's guiding us through the thorny thickets of "business casual" dressing:








It's Friday, and it's "business casual" at your office. So you take the opportunity to pull your hair back into a ponytail and save 15 minutes on your morning routine, right? Wrong.

Unfortunately, many women still misunderstand the meaning of "business casual." It does not give us permission to wear gym shoes or "comfy pants." You know that I'm talking about--those yoga/sweatpant hybrids with elastic waistbands and enough spandex to support a small country.

Business casual was meant to relax corporate dressing and give employees additional freedom to express themselves through their clothing. It was meant as an opportunity to replace stuffy suits with chinos and dress shirts. Instead, what we're seeing is gym-wear and beach attire.

Just because your office has a business casual dress code, it doesn't mean you should adhere to it, at least not completely. After all, you can get your fill of jeans and flip-flops on your time off. If you're looking to get promoted, you need to dress seriously. And you have to dress the part--as if you already have the job you want and have earned.

What exactly does that mean? Here are my top 10 do's-and-don'ts for women who are negotiating the potential pitfalls of "business casual":

1. Do dress up every Monday and whenever clients are visiting in-house.
2. Do wear dresses whenever possible, and you'll eliminate the need to find a blouse to wear with your favorite pencil skirt or pants
3. Don't even think about pulling on your flips-flops. Ever.
4. Don't go for neon colors. Unless your workplace is trés hip (aren't you lucky!), they have no business at your business.
5. Don't choose skin-tight clothing. It's not flattering, and it will only get you unwanted attention from that creepy guy in accounting.
6. Do leave those white socks stashed back in the gym locker, or, better yet, back in the eighties.
7. Don't get me started on tank tops.
8. Do carry a fashionable purse. It gives you a finished look.
9. Do wear make-up, but remember that you're not going to a club.
10. Most of all, do wear a smile. It will soften your face and make you more approachable.

(To check out Catherine's executive styling services, click here.)

Do-Overs! take time. And work. I remember being struck by Sylvia Acevedo's turn-of-phrase when recalling her own Do-Over! process. The rocket-scientist-turned-entrepreneur explained how she had "done the work," trying out everything from fast cars to salsa dancing.

When you're looking to change-it-up, you need to get out and sample that brave new world--new places, new people, new experiences.

That's where my pilates BFF Molly Cumming comes in. The Austin-based designer is in the midst of a Do-Over! As she tells it:

I have been searching for something for a while. I don't know what it is. It might be a new career, it might be a hobby, or maybe simply some skill that I might be able to use somewhere, sometime. Or a skill that I may never use again.

Over the past few years, I've admired the way that Molly has insistently set out to find her next-thing by enrolling in a string of learning experiences that ranged from sommelier school to goat camp. (I live vicariously . . .)

So now Molly has started a new blog, "Camp Curator," to chronicle her Do-Over! adventure and share her best camp discoveries for the rest of us. Check out "Camp Curator" to inspire your own journey and discover some great options for a Do-Over! camp getaway.

Molly's off to stitching camp this weekend. Can't wait to read all about it!

(If you're inspired by Sylvia and Molly to start working on your own Do-Over!, check out my Do-Over! audiobook.)

Like many mid-life entrepreneurs, I was an unlikely candidate (a women's studies professor?!) for starting up my own business. Six years later, I gotta say, I am loving the free-agent life. In fact, I coach a number of women who are starting up their own businesses. Management consultant Rashmi Biswas (author of Rash Decisions) recently interviewed me for her series on female entrepreneurs. Here's our conversation:

At what point in your career did you make the decision to become self-employed?

After 17 years as a women's studies professor at The University of Texas at Austin, I felt the need to do something fresh, something bigger, something more challenging. I was attracted to the burgeoning field of coaching as a way to extend my women's studies expertise and my teaching skills. And as a high-autonomy person who would prefer never to sit in another committee meeting, entrepeneurship was very attractive.

Describe the greatest challenges you faced when making the transition.

I was completely unknown outside of academia, where I had spent several decades building an international reputation. I had to start all over again, in a completely foreign domain. I learned how to network!

Which skills did you need to develop in order to become effective in your role as an entrepreneur?

When I began, sales was my biggest challenge. So I engaged a sales coach to develop those skills. Most recently, I've expanded my practice online. WomenAdvance.com is an online career accelerator for women, and the learning curve on all things software has been my steepest ever. I mean, ever!

What is the best business book you have ever read?

"Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi.

What does the future hold for your industry?

Online learning/coaching is taking off! WomenAdvance.com expands my reach as a coach, and it's more affordable for younger women who cannot afford a private coach. It's a learning platform with which younger women are quite comfortable. And it's convenient! I think it's the future.

How do you feel about the current status of women in the workforce?

Women's progress in the workplace has stalled. Thankfully, we're no longer insisting that things are better, or equal. Even younger women are recognizing sooner rather than later that power defaults to the men in the room. We have to remain vigilant about leveling the playing field.

When you are featured on the cover of Time magazine, what will be the headline?

"She's the Woman Behind the Women Who Changed the World."
 

I started out life as a journalist, and I'm still more comfortable asking the questions than answering them. Even so, I enjoyed this interview I did with Academic Women for Equality Now, an online home to explore gender issues in US higher education. Thanks to Pascale Lane for inviting me to reflect back upon my former life in the Ivory Tower.

What is your educational background?

My BA is in journalism with an art history minor. I earned my MA and PhD degrees at New York University in Performance Studies--a form of cultural studies. I focused on feminist theory, nonverbal communication, and women in modern dance.

What has been your career path?

It's been a long and winding road! I started out as a feature writer at a daily newspaper when I graduated from college. After a few years, I enrolled in grad school at New York University and then landed a tenure-track position at The University of Texas at Austin. I spent 17 years on faculty at UT, then quit to open my practice as a coach specializing in personal growth and professional development for women. I brought with me my favorite things about teaching--the intense, focused work with individual students, and the classroom teaching. Happily, I left behind the grading and committee work.

Why did you leave academia?

I yearned for something bigger. I wanted to learn more about myself, to see what more I was capable of. I wanted fresh challenges. I wanted to use my analytical acumen to build lives rather than rip apart arguments.

What do you believe is more difficult for women--academia or business?

Both domains are challenging for women. They're both embedded in the same overarching patriarchal culture. Power defaults to the men in the room.

Why did you become a coach?

Because I love focusing one-on-one. I love the intensity of deep dialogue, and I love being able to see real-life results. It's a tangible way that I can change the world, by helping women claim and use their power, one woman at a time. Plus, I really love my clients! That said, I've just launched an online career education center for women called WomenAdvance.com. I decided last year that the web is a great way to reach women earlier in their careers, and to offer them guidance on a more convenient, affordable platform. After a lifetime committed to the success and advancement of women, I'm really excited to be expanding my mission into the online world.

What advice do you have for women working in academia?

Never forget why you entered academia, and never stop learning and growing.